god, jesus, dude in the sky, do I even care?,
We don’t talk anymore. I don’t know how I feel about you, and your followers seem to think you don’t feel too good about me. I’m pretty good at ignoring them, though.
I’ll make an exception to my vow of silence this morning for sweet baby Opal as she goes into surgery to heal her heart. I’m so glad she has parents like Deanna and Matt who will give her all the best support and love she could ever need. I know William is one of the most important people to me—Opal has and will continue to be a huge blessing, too.
Now that we’re talking again, I’m frustrated. I fight for the right to be treated equally and fairly and each time I think I see real, tangible progress, I’m reminded that the people here have no intention of treating me and my family fairly. It pisses me off. And they do this in your name.
What the fuck is their problem?
I treat them with respect, I work for them, I give them my time and resources. This institution has been my home now for over three years, but I continue to feel like I will not be allowed to belong. Friends offer support and community, but staff seem intent on reminding me that there’s something not quite right about me.
I didn’t choose this. I tried, under the leadership of a school professing to follow you, to rid myself of this issue. You know how hard I tried—to the point of compromising my physical and mental health. Yet somehow these people can’t get it into their heads that I’m just the same as them. I crave companionship, friendship, community, and belonging just like they do. So why do some of them want to see to it that I cannot have that?
This fight isn’t over. I have a lot more strength and I’m nowhere near close to giving up. I have strength in the knowledge that I don’t need someone else’s permission to be as I am. I hope you’re watching.
Oh, and before I hang up again, I think of Maddy in Denver. That overflowing source of healing and love you claim to be? Maybe you could spare some for her.