Is it interesting to you that life is so full of repetition? Because it doesn’t interest me at all. Habits and repetition just sound like a whole lot of boring in my mind.

It wouldn’t bother me if we replaced the term deja vu with the word life. Because what is life, other than one big deja vu? (Can you tell I’m feeling irritable?) We make the same choice multiple times despite knowing where it leads. We put ourselves in situations where we know we will fail, get hurt, or cause trouble. And here I use the same phrases and compose the same sentences. Over and over and over.

I just checked my messages and saw two new ones that were not new at all. I have received both messages from both senders several times. I will respond, and hold a conversation that I am already very familiar with. I know what responses I will receive, how I will respond to those responses, and how my responses will be responded to again. Repetition, you see.

I talked in person with a friend (X) last night and was able to successfully anticipate everything they said, start to finish. Why have the conversation at all if it deals with completely internal topics (X likes talking about X’s problems) and is predictable enough that I do not have to be mentally present to respond? “Yes, wow that must be rough, ahuh?, oh I’m sorry, I can’t imagine, really?” etc. (Actual transcript of my side of the conversation with X.) Over and over and over.

I am a creature of habit. (Heard that one before? Repetition, you see.) I make the same choices with my relationships, time, work, and my food for starters. Yes, I’m tired of them. Yes, I’m aware of them. Yes, I’m sure I’ll make them again.

Is it interesting to you that life is so full of repetition? Because it doesn’t interest me at all. Habits and repetition just sound like a whole lot of boring in my mind.

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One thought on “Over and Over and Over

  1. Hi Mason, I used to follow you when you were in high school. I just saw your name come up. I took a break from reading blogs after my grandson died 4 years ago. I guess he would have been around your age.

    Anyway, “Repitition.” Yeah, sounds very boring. I get bored easily. To combat this I try new things all the time. I’m 65 now and just stared making Alternative Books as a hobby and maybe selling. I’m usually lousy at crafting, but I seem to have a knack for this.

    At different times in my life I’ve tried, photography, scrapbooking, geocaching, hiking, gym classes, writing, mosaics, painting, drawing, all kinds of things. Sounds like you need something to look forward to. Oh, and I am now making journals, since my therapist said I should. The most help I get for journaling is on Brave Girls Club online. She gives prompts on what to write about; some questions and answers and stuff to print. My journals are full of pictures and some writing.

    Well, I’m an old grandma, but I thought I’d share my bounteous knowledge on what I’ve learned to do when bored.

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